Volume 4: Special Edition - The #belikebutch newsletter
R.I.P. Butch Neeld, the type of guy who inspired this little project in the first place.
Welcome to the first RPR newsletter of 2022!
Last week, my wife’s Uncle Butch died.
Yesterday was his funeral, and it was one of the most moving tributes to a person I’ve ever witnessed. For nearly three hours (longer than allotted time slot), these two-column lines of mourners snaked their way through a maze in Visitation BVM’s spacious church for the opportunity to reach the altar and pay their respects to Butch and offer their condolences to his family. At one point, George, another of Liz’s Uncles, turned to me and said, “there must’ve been more than a 1,000 people who came through for this.” He wasn’t lying; if anything, he may have even undercounted.
The amount of lives this one man impacted was inspiring.
If you drive around the Norristown-area, you can find several local businesses paying tribute to Butch on their marquees, just like in the photo above from the Collegeville Italian Bakery Pizzeria Napoletana (check out their heartfelt tribute the Collegeville Bakery wrote to him here). Getting your name on the sign at Collegeville Bakery — an eatery that regularly brings in current and former professional athletes like Joel Embiid and Brian Dawkins.
There are even more messages on the social media pages of other establishments, local politicians and scores of friends and family members whose lives were impacted by Butch. Like his son Dan said, Butch was a legend.
The first to lend a hand
Of course, Butch was there immediately after we got flooded. In fact, he was checking in with us regularly on the day of the storm. He brought tools, took out our downstairs shower and demoed our downstairs bathroom (at 74!) and even attempted to blowtorch the stubborn hardwood floor from the slab of concrete to which it was glued. But he was helping the Bilski family long before it was in vogue to head over to 3995 Yerkes Road and do some back-breaking. disaster-recovery work; he was doing it regularly since I started dating Liz back in late 2006. He’s changed car brakes, put in cabinets, installed garbage disposals, showed me multiple times how to change and rotate my tires, and did thousands and thousands of dollars worth of electrical work for no charge.
He was the type of self-sufficient, old school dude who make a lot of guys from my generation self-conscious about our ability to do jack shit by ourselves. But he never made fun of me for my lack of practical skills, instead, he seemed genuinely each and every time he helped us out of a jam. I can ramble on and on, but perhaps the best summary of the guy came from his daughter-in-law, Christie’s Facebook post. Here’s part of it:
… My father-in-law’s best gift was making you and your problem matter without making you feel like crap about it. Butch invented the “acts of service” love language. He was obnoxious about fixing things for others…Everyone keeps asking me, “what can I do for your family?” You know what you can do? Be like our Butch and show up for others. Make them feel important, lend a hand, live to make others’ lives easier and make an inappropriate joke while you are doing it. Just show up big and expect nothing in return.
I started this newsletter because I was in awe at the quantity and quality of help my family received after Ida came through and fucked up our entire notion of control (Sorry for the language, new RPR subscriber and my former disciplinarian Sister Janet). Butch was the epitome of life lived in the selfless and constant pursuit of helping others, and it seems silly to try and write about any other than him in this installment. I’ll post another newsletter at some point this week with house updates, new writing and a bunch of the usual stuff. Until then, take care of each other. That line about never knowing how long you’ve got with someone is a cliché, but it’s an apt one.
Jared
Get In Touch
Send me your questions, comments, or ideas at any time. Either leave your in the comments section (or in any post) or email me directly at jrdbilski@gmail. Finally, if you’re enjoying what you read, consider sharing with others using either of buttons below my signature.
Jared...beautiful tribute to your Uncle Butch #belikebutch....I was also amazed the number of people that came to pay their respects....really speaks volumes to the man Butch was...RIP Butch
Jared--so well written I wish i had known Uncle Butch--he sounds awesome--Heartfelt sympathy to you and Liz